The past few days have been rough, ones filled with doubt and self-misunderstanding, confusion about which set of stairs to take next while walking on my path. It has also been a progressively physically painful week as the back of my head is now throbbing with a massive headache that is reaching around fifty percent of my skull. It is not pleasureful and I would like it to stop immediately.

The more I sit back and look at the brief amount of work I have done in the past month the more I am enraptured with the beauty that we are all capable of creating. Doubt is disgusting but even in the face of progress he seems to still be standing next to me, tapping my head, reminding me of his presence. The trouble is that I don’t doubt myself but I doubt the masses. I’m unsure which direction to lead in because I want to produce something that affects people and not just make pretty pictures. So, my trouble today is the selection of composition and convincing myself the language I am forming will make sense to those who are willing to listen.

Everything aside, it is good to stop and reflect. It is often said that it is very important for an artist to stop, place her work on a wall, step back and simply look. You now trade roles momentarily of maker for observer. You must listen to your own oration without speaking. And I am pleased. I scanned in the series of smaller format works I finished first and I’m preparing their presentation (much akin to ordering words in a sentence.) I am arranging to take photographs of the larger format color chart because this is a very important work that is a keystone in my vision I want to expand on. And I’m grabbing the proverbial broom and bucket of pain relievers to sweep away the doubt and dirt so clarity and confidence can once again reside where they are welcome.